So.. a few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet up with my father’s brother, one of Donald Rumsfeld’s military advisors. He travels with “The Don”, as he referred to him, to various parts of the globe and works out of the Pentagon the rest of the time. After meeting my uncle you would agree with me that he isn’t the person you’d probably imagine working for such a cause, and I found hints that his personal beliefs on the current political situation do not exactly run parallel with that of his superiors. He wll be a good person to sit down and talk to when his stint with the Empire has expired.
When we were saying our goodbyes, he gave me an open invitation to visit him in DC and take a tour with him of the Pentagon and meet The Don. Huh?
So I’ve been ruminating on this offer for the last few weeks and I think I am going to take him up on it. What my thoughts are, is that maybe we could come together over the blog and come up with soem stuff to say to him. Not that I feel that he is going to take time from his busy war mongering to sit down with a tooth on one of his gears and quietly listen to my commentary on his foolish actions, but I might have a chance to slip in a statement that might resonate.
No honestly, if I was going to pick one of us to be the ambassador, it would not be me.
I could pick Jorge, who would sit on his little frail shoulder and whisper little, “hmmm, Donald…. do you REALLY think that is a good idea?”. Then he would light some candles and schedule some kind of mediation between Don and Osa, Don and Hugo, Don and Mahmoud, Don and Kim, Don and… well you get the idea… to work out their differences.
I could pick Lucy, who would show him videos of what REALLY happenned and he would sit back with a gasp and declare himself an anarchist. Lucy would then teach him how to separate gluten from wheat and The Don would live an extra 10 years… in jail.
I could pick Johnny Palmetto who would tease his brain into a shame spiral until he actually reads the Geneva Convention and realizes how misguided he has been.
I could pick Rib Roche, who would sit down with The Don on a comfy couch and pull a few tubes. Then Rib could commence to bewilder the Sec. with amazing stories of the universe until he says, “ENOUGH! I already know this shit!” and rips off his skin revealing the true reptilian nature of his being.
Then… I could pick Arepamonger who could explain to The Don that he really doesn’t keep up with politics and he likes that tie he’s wearing. Tobasco bottles! My dad has that one!
But, as it goes, I am the one with the opportunity to come face to face with Mr. Rumsfeld so I want it to be the most effective visit possible. What I would like to do is open up a forum for all contributers and readers with the prompt: What would you do if you met Donald Rumsfeld?
Suggestion #1 link
What an opportunity…I’m not sure how I feel about it all though. Sort of makes me feel icky to think about you being so close to him. Will you get infected? Will your nose fall off?
Comment by Johnny Palmetto — December 21, 2005 @ 8:26 pm
First piece of advice: you can’t throw the words warmongering, foolish, misguided, etc. at him. Your conversation will go nowhere. I would imagine you’d be met with condescending rhetoric reserved for “misguided” youth such as yourself. Then all you’ve got is two people who are shaking their heads at each other. In fact, you might be wise to avoid statements in general, which are usually met in this administration with denial, obfuscation, or simply ignoring what you’ve said. If you truly want a dialogue, I would begin generating questions for “The Don” to which he could respond, that are based on a keen knowledge of current events and a genuine concern for our country and the greater global community. That, I suggest, should be our goal.
I’ll give it some thought.
Comment by Jórge — December 21, 2005 @ 9:30 pm
I’d suggest asking him questions that anyone, regardless of political affiliation, would like to ask.
1. Do you think there are enough resources in the world to house, clothe and feed everyone on the planet?
2. What is the official definition of terrorism anyway? If there isn’t one, why not?
3. Historically we can see great civilizations turn their fertile land into deserts…how much longer does the US have, and how would our military be involved in securing arable land?
Answers to such questions would be quite telling.
Comment by Lucy — December 27, 2005 @ 9:10 pm